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I Rarely Feel Safe

Credit: The Latest Kate

Sometimes, life smacks us upside the head and delivers us some legitimate tragedy. The tragedy may come from something we’ve done, our reaction to something someone else has done, or something coming at us from out of left field.

For me, giving myself grace has always been difficult. As a preacher’s daughter, I was held to superhuman standards. Not only by others, but by my parents. It was hard to just be a person. As a result it was hard to give grace to others. So the cycle continues.

Dealing with the specific tragedy of this week has taken up the forefront of my body and all of my mind, which is why I haven’t been posting much this week. Typically I try to post something everyday. But there’s something that helps ground me when everything sends me flying internally:

Gratitude.

Gratitude lists always help me, even if they’re short.

Today I am grateful for:

  1. My husband being okay with me shaving half of his head by accident when I attempted to give him a haircut.
  2. My new warm Dearfoam slippers.
  3. My new house kimono.
  4. The fact my hair cream came in the mail.
  5. Audiobooks, especially Rules of Civility by Amor Towles.
  6. My local literary society that I am a part of.
  7. Making writer friends who are willing to help me with my book.
  8. Dance and EDM playlists.
  9. Worship music.
  10. My savior, Jesus Christ.

When I really think about it, all those 10 things must be grateful for me as well. And so the cycle continues.

Love yourselves out there please, if not for yourselves then for the people you need to love. But please love you for the sake of you.

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