Wedding Planning For Spoonies: Getting Back on the Horse

Watercolor painting of red roses with two bells above a rainbow wash and two spoons, one in a blue bow tie and one in a wedding dress holding hands. The text reads "wedding planning for spoonies by Meara Mullen"

Special thanks to @KarenDScotland and @AManWithFibro who made this iteration of the book possible.

I am on iteration 4 of the book. Right now I am awaiting the official MS notes from my editor. But she did send me some more notes in an email. Right now my job is to:

  • Beef up word count (sitting around 20,000 words which is a bit short after gutting the book)
  • Make the book more hopeful and peppier

The book’s job is to serve:

  • the mobility impaired (meaning wheelchair users, cane users, walker users, anything that helps you move, etc)
  • those who suffer from chronic pain
  • those who have chronic illness (this is a huge range – and includes those with epilepsy)

I’ve taken a break for a week or two from writing because of various stressors in life and I’m going to take advantage of a calm day of chaos to get back in the saddle again. Thank you to those who have helped me with my interviews and surveys, you are invaluable and amazing.

If you should wish to contribute to the project, email me at spoonielifestyle@gmail.com. The more research the better!

Wedding Planning for Spoonies: Inspiration & tips for the chronically ill and disabled

My wedding planning book is going through a few iterations right now. I hope to still work with my editor after doing something really really stupid (in a pain flare I should never email people at night). The plan is to focus on mobility aid users and the chronically ill. It casts a wide net. There are many conditions specifically included, but a few from the categories can be chosen to apply to someone whose condition is not specifically listed.

I’m a bit nervous about the rewrite as it’s a blow to my ego, but I have to remember the point is to help people.

I do think this book could be a game changer if I work hard enough on it.

I’d also appreciate comments on whether or not excluding sight and hearing still makes the book marketable, and how much you like the new title.

If you’re interested in helping, email me at spoonielifestyle@gmail.com.

The Disability-Friendly Wedding Planner: Even New Directions

I am back in the saddle again with my book, The Disability-Friendly Wedding Planner, and I’m telling you, it’s gonna be a long road.

The book’s purpose is to help disabled and chronically ill individuals plan their weddings, but I’m not entirely sure it’s doing that right now. I’m talking to one agent who hasn’t gotten back to me yet after submitting my manuscript, and I nervously await the next steps.

Additionally, or not additionally rather, the book has been slashed a bit. It no longer covers as wide a net of disabilities as I had once liked to. Now it only covers mobility, chronic illness, and chronic pain, which when you think about it is pretty huge. There are lots of chronic illnesses and chronic pain conditions out there, and lots of varying degrees of mobility.

I have lots lots lots of research to do, and if you’d like to help, email me.

Conducting Research: THE DISABILITY-FRIENDLY WEDDING PLANNER

The whole point of The Differently Abled Bride Guide is to help people. I want to help people by letting them know they are not alone, provide practical advice and inspiration, and ultimately show the world we exist. We are here, we are loved, and need to be treated fairly.

While I’ve been promoting and asking for research for grooms, a kind fellow member of the Chronic Illness Network informed me that Differently Abled is a slur. When I was in University, before I became disabled, I learned that Differently Abled was how to refer to a disabled person.

I admit that I grapple with the term disabled, as I assume many do, which led to the original title of the book. Usually I rejected the term because of able-bodied friends throwing shade at me or they could not believe that the high achieving, hyperactive, goal-oriented girl who wanted to save the world couldn’t go to the grocery store without a mobility aid because…. she had some Whiner McBabypants fake disease like fibromyalgia. People with fibromyalgia weren’t “supposed to have this problem.” I had something else, it was my husband, I should be a better vegan… You know, I’m sure, if you’re reading this, how it goes.

Honestly I wanted to be able to catch those with invisible disabilities who didn’t have the image of disabled in their heads in this book as they are covered as well. The book also covers wheelchair users, paraplegia, the blind, the Deaf, and other classically-thought-of nomenclatures of disability.

The project is renamed The Disability-Friendly Wedding Planner and will cover brides, grooms, and non-binary folx who are disabled. I need people to interview, so please consider contributing to the project.

If you would like to help my project, email me or comment on this blog.

Not Giving Up

NOT a novel

When I first shared my covers on Twitter, there seemed to be some confusion about “the brides different ability.” This discouraged me a bit about my communication skills. I think this is partially because I am keeping this project a little bit under wraps.

The Differently Abled Bride Guide is a wedding planner book for women with chronic illnesses and disabilities. Differently Abled is the PC term for those conditions, as either of those groups can define themselves as disabled, not disabled, or differently abled.

I am trying to create a one-stop wedding planning resource for women with conditions ranging from fibromyalgia to paraplegia and everything in between. This is why I have been conducting so much research. I want accurate and inoffensive information.

Yesterday, I had some discouragement. I was approached by a publisher who asked me for $20,000 dollars to publish my book.

I’ve never even spent that much on a car. That is a fancy car to me.

This came immediately after my favorite publisher rejected me. So far I have 12 rejections in a month.

I know what I am doing is risky and out of the ordinary. My friends were so encouraging. But I’ll stick to it.

Don’t give up y’all. Some day we’re all gonna change the world. We’re gonna help people.